Seven haikus about a birthday

Today is the day

I first breathed two years ago:

God has plans for me.

My teacher hugs me –

There’s a big loving fuss and

We eat cupcakes – yum.

Mom’s big College boys

Sing to me but it’s too loud –

I hide my face – cry.

So many love me:

I have prezzies and cuzzies –

Smiles and warm fuzzies.

Despite drizzle they

Party! Sing! I cry (again) –

Too much attention.

We go for a spin –

Wind in my face I’m laughing –

Life has just begun.

Sunday morning sun

And my party aftermath –

I play quietly.

The turning tide of turning two

My baby,

This week you will be two.

I’m treasuring all the baby things about you even as they slip out with the tide of your infancy. Every nappy I change. Every wide-awake night because actually I love your patter down the passage with your green blankie and your back-to-back sleepy snuggling in our bed and your ‘Where’s Dad?’ when you realise he’s not in the bed anymore because your kicking has kept him awake and he has opted for the bunk bed and Eeyore (who doesn’t kick).

I treasure how you bury your face drowsy-quiet-shy in my neck because I am your safe place. I treasure how you exasperate me with your uncontrollable running-laughing-naughtiness because you are my wild freedom. I treasure how you wake up early like me and how you look at me with Dad’s eyes and how you laugh when Noddy gets knocked over by the skittles. I treasure how you hug Cammy after your sleep and how your brother-bond grows tighter every time you mimic his (questionable) table manners.

Standing on this wet metaphorical sand with less and less of your baby-ness washing over my feet I can hardly remember me before you. You’ve made me feel completely me because of how completely you are you.

You might be interested one day to know what this turning tide was washing up on the world’s shores, the week you turned two. America is two months away from a presidential election. The Pope is urging Arab leaders to work for peace in the Middle East. There’s violence on the mines around Rustenburg. Yesterday the Springboks lost to the All Blacks. Quite possibly the waves will be washing up the same stuff twenty years from now.

As for us:

This evening God made the most incredible sunset. It rained through late orange smudgy light. Then the rain stopped and the sun was dusky translucence through bright wet fresh air. We ate supper early and the candlelight matched the sky. You were grumpy because you wanted to bath but there was still pretty much perfect peace.

I’ve just started my last term at St Alban’s College and I’m up-and-down with happy-sad dreams and tears as I watch for the bright buds of a new season full of goodbyes.

Your strong brave Dad works too hard, loves you unimaginably, makes me laugh every day, feels things more deeply than most, and today finished waterproofing the roof.

Cam is the best big brother in the universe. Here are some things he asked me this week:

‘How do my words come out of my mouth in my voice?’

‘How does God make pepper?’

‘As a special treat, can I get Scott a set of jumper cables for his birthday?’

‘Can I make Scott a hot-bubblegum-and-peach pudding?’

He takes ages to finish his food because he doesn’t stop talking. The other night I said, ‘Not a word until you’ve had three more bites!’ A few silent bites later he yelled ecstatically, ‘A word!’ Then he added, ‘Actually I had four bites so now I can say lots of words!’

The tide will turn and keep turning and I don’t know what will wash up on your beaches and what will wash away. There’s so much I want to say – but there will be other birthdays. Tonight, my prayer for you, Scott Gideon Reyburn, my mighty hero, is that you will love Jesus with all your life. That you will be an arrow shot straight to claim Kingdom territory. That God will unwrap his plans for you and use you to touch countless lives. I pray that you would live the words of the song we sing in the car sometimes:

Dare to be a Daniel

Dare to stand alone

Dare to have a purpose firm

Dare to make it known.

All my love,

Mom

xx

 Stories and muffins with Lola and Heather (Aunty 'Nook)

Doctor Cam in his theatre garb. And his red galoshes.

God’s glory in grease, love days and other stories

Sticking to the theme… sort of

Like nerds we’ve been doing a weekly theme with the boys. (Because I need help. When I’ve exhausted all possible playing and climbing and riding options I panic.) It’s pretty random: we’ve had pirates, swimming, tepees, gymnastics, birds, fruit (seeded and of-the-Spirit), and this week, Greece. We mainly picked Greece as an excuse for Murray and me to bask in memories of Skiathos and Naxos, and so that I could make us souvlaki and tzatziki in pita, which the boys weren’t interested in eating. Cam said he’d rather have a fried egg. He told his OT the next day that it counted as food from Greece because the egg was, in fact, quite greasy.

Just the two of us

The boys have been at home with me for most of my August holiday. But one day this week I sent Cam to school and kept Scott home. The next day I sent Scott and kept Cam. I wanted them each to have a special-alone-love day.

Things I’ll treasure:

Scott and I ran errands, played iPad-iPad and went to the park. He picked two Namaqualand daisies. He sniffed them, enraptured. (Well, he blew on them. That’s how he sniffs things.) He clutched them ‘til they were squashed and sweaty and he wouldn’t relinquish them even at sleep time.

Cam and I built things in the playroom, had Milo at the Wimpy and read The Enchanted Wood. We got to the part where they meet Saucepan Man, who doesn’t hear very well. So like, Jo will say, ‘What is that?’ and the Saucepan Man will say, ‘Cat? I don’t see any cat! What cat?’ It goes on like this for chapters. Cam got the serious contagious giggles every time and we laughed so hard we had to stop reading to compose ourselves.

Extra miles and miles and miles

Yesterday we drove miles and miles through busy rainy streets to Prinshof School for the Blind. Two of Cam’s future HCS teachers went miles of extra miles and came with us to look, listen, learn. The people at Prinshof went miles and miles to affirm, suggest, equip. They are so excited that Cam is giving mainstream schooling a try. They want to support us, for miles of altruistic miles. My folks went miles and miles to keep Cam happy on the jungle gyms so that we could talk about the difficult things without him. We visited the preschool class. The teacher and her assistant are going miles and miles to floodlight the black or blurry worlds of the bright lives in their care so that they can go miles and miles, too.

Scott van Gogh

This morning Scott ate his Tennis biscuit into the shape of a pig and then did excellent snort-snort noises. Seriously, I think that’s amazing. It’s like Michelangelo sculpting the Pieta and then doing performance poetry. Just sayin’.

Scared

One rainy afternoon this week we were blanket-burrowing on the couch and Cam suddenly swallowed tears and said:  ‘I’m scared of dying.’ And I thought, I’m scared of messing this up because this is one of those moments he might remember forever and I’m unsuspecting and unprepared and unsophisticated. So I went with my gut which said: Hug… hug. Pray. Talk. Talk some more. Hug. Hope… that perfect love will cast out all fear. (1 John 4:18)

Four more Celebrating Life suggestions

On Friday afternoon the boys were pretending that the jungle gym was hurtling through space. I watered the garden. Cam asked me something about rocket ships and exhaust fumes. Mesmerized by the hose, I took a while to answer. He got frustrated. ‘Mom please answer me! I don’t know everything like you and Jesus!’

Which made me laugh a lot.

I’m so glad I can leave knowing everything to Jesus. Four things I do know for sure:

1.       There are still some free copies of Purposeful Parenting at Bayleaf. Quick!

2.       This is a cool post – about a dad and his daughters.

3.       This might make you cry – from a mom to her sons.

4.       If you’re a Christian woman (or if you’re not – whatever), you should check out the launch issue of Radiant Magazine. Like Esther preparing for the king it’s been a year or so in the making. Now it’s here and worth the wait! I’m honoured (and super chuffed) to be one of the feature writers. This from the editor, Nicole Cameron: ‘Radiant offers everything that traditional glossies do – from thought-provoking features and insight on relevant issues through to fashion, food and décor – with one key difference: it is written from a Christian world view.’

 OT with Aunty Manty

Story time: Scott and his Ma-mee-ra (Maria)