Blake
waking
Sleep deprivation notwithstanding, I
feel distinctly awake tonight to the mercies of God on our lives. Some are
dusted over us to glisten light as sugar and they are all around me to breathe
and taste. And some rest so heavy and so beautiful it hurts. Like, tomorrow Cameron
turns four. I’m sure if William Blake had known Cam when he was writing his Auguries of Innocence he would have
meant these words for him:
To
see a world in a grain of sand,
And
a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold
infinity in the palm of your hand,
And
eternity in an hour.
I really don’t have words for how
profoundly and intensely grateful I am for the exuberant, extravagant gift that
Cam is to us. I go quiet when I consider how much he has taught me. His
perspectives challenge mine almost daily. I’m treasuring his morning snuggles
and the way he flings his arms around me and begs me to play and says things
like, ‘I just love you forever and ever.’
I’ve had a couple of other moments of
heightened sensitivity in the past week. I don’t want to over-spiritualise
quaint, subjective parental observations, but it’s almost as if there are times
when I watch the boys doing something and there’s something holy about the moment
and I’m compelled to humble grateful worship and a memory-freeze of that
instant.
Like at a park last Saturday when Scott
spotted (another) golden retriever he thought was Lola. He ran as fast as he
knows how with rapt intent and hugged that dog so hard for quite some time.
Random dog owners standing by, laughing nervously, bemused. Sweet child of
quiet freedom and spontaneity. No inhibitions. Just love.
And when Cam insisted on speaking to
Granny on the phone the other morning. He wandered around the lounge in his
silky soccer boxer shorts, one hand on a hip and discussed matter-of-factly and
all-grown-up his birthday plans… And today when Scott took the grater out of a
kitchen drawer and brought it proudly to the playroom, Cam said, ‘Mom, I don’t
think you should let Scotty play with that grater. It’s quite dangerous and I’m
worried he’ll hurt himself.’
Alrighty then!
Cake
making
This year Cam’s birthday cake request
was not for a tractor or a monster or some other plausibly four-year-old fetish.
He wanted ‘a world globe cake.’ I couldn’t just delegate to my Dad and ask for
one of his famous ice-cream creations as I usually do, because the party will
be a picnic at St Alban’s (where the main activity will be running wildly in
wide open spaces) and an ice-cream cake would melt. So I went boldly where plenty
of other moms have gone before and actually baked the birthday cake myself. And
somehow, miraculously, managed to get it to look kind of like our planet. It
was a team effort. Murray designed the continental layout and did most of Africa, Europe and Asia. He did an awesome job, except that Robben Island is about the same
size as the UK. Cam did Japan and Taiwan. Sort of.
Someone pointed out that it’s a pretty
perfect cake to be making on the weekend we celebrate Jesus’ death and resurrection
for the world – that the nations might know forgiveness and hope.
Break
taking
On Sunday we head to the Karoo for our
second Easter at Pienaarsbaken, then on to Nature’s Valley for, Lord willing, some
sun-baking stock-taking memory-raking fun-making. And sleep. J
For
he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the
Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. – Colossians 1:13-14
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