Wednesday, May 1, 2013

For Cam: A gross poem about snot


I wrote this today for Cam. He thinks it’s cool so I’m hoping it works on him. You’re welcome to use it if you have a small person in your house already plotting a career in mine engineering…

The story of Jeremy Jot and his green slimy snot

This is the story of Jeremy Jot:
A small sweet boy who ate his snot.
It wasn’t his fault, he told his Mum,
The fault was his fingers, though seldom his thumb.
He found that those fingers, so nimble, so quick,
Would creep up a nostril – and then have a lick!
‘Gross!’ shrieked his mother. ‘That’s horrid!’ she cried.
‘You keep eating snot! Now you must decide!’
‘Decide?’ asked Jerry, ‘Decide about what?’
‘Decide between ice-cream and pizza, and snot!’
Jerry turned pale. What was he to choose?
Which one of those delicacies could he lose?
He slunk out the house and climbed up a tree
Where he sulked and ate snot, with no one to see.
Just before supper Dad gave Mom a wink.
Then he loudly announced, ‘We’ll have pizza, I think!’
Pizza appeared! Dad was magic that way.
There was chicken and pineapple – ham – hooray!
But on Jeremy’s plate? Not one cheesy slice.
Just: ‘Sauce with your snot, or maybe some spice?’
Jerry frowned at his family. This wasn’t fair.
Snot sounded lousy, with pizza to share.
‘Um.’ He said softly and thought for a while.
‘I’m giving up snot,’ he declared with a smile.
‘It’s filthy, not filling, and doesn’t smell good
(Though right up the nose, it definitely should.)
From now on I’m keeping my ten fingers clean –
No slime, no snot, no grime, no green!’
He kept his word, did Jeremy Jot;
He never again went digging for snot.
Instead he ate sausages, yoghurt, beetroot,
Raisins and porridge, carrots and fruit.
And just now and then, just for a treat,
Dad would bring pizza and ice-cream to eat.
So when your fingers creep close to your nose –
Stop! And choose what Jeremy chose!


2 comments:

  1. you had me til he started eating raiSINs, bleargh, but fun one Dalene - great that you did this. love it.

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  2. Ha ha! Of course... dangerous things you can least expect... raisins... Thanks Brett :)

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