At breakfast we talk in grownup code. But Cam cracks it and says he remembers Oscar. He ran a race on the TV. Did Oscar hurt himself running too fast in a race, Cam asks. Murray explains about legs and blades and things. Cam is all wow and smiling like there’s kindred congenital defect comprehension. I say how actually Oscar is in jail because something terrible happened and he shot at his girlfriend and they are trying to find out if he did it on purpose or if it was a mistake and either way we need to pray for Oscar because either way he needs Jesus and Jesus forgives and there’s always truth and grace. Cam screws up his eyes – looks hard through the air. Because he’s into goodies and baddies and black and white and this is a tough one.
At supper there’s a lot of tomato sauce and silliness while the world stands still to hear the verdict of bail or no bail and the nation is reeling and accusations fly and support bolsters. And all I can think is but for the grace, but for the grace go I and these boys so little-innocent and so deeply afflicted with the human condition just like their mother. I’m wet-cloth wiping the supper mess and praying quite desperate that these boys of mine will live life the way they want it tweeted and that these tomato-saucey fingers will cling to truth and grace, truth and grace.