Here’s a letter I’ve written to Scotty, which I’ll give to him one day when he’s curious about the events of the first week of his life...I’ll upload some more photos this week!
My dearest Scott
Tomorrow you will be one week old. I thought I would write you this letter so that you would know all about how you came into the world, and how we experienced the first week of your life.
My due date was 30th September, and I was scheduled to go in for a caesarean section on 23rd September. But you had other ideas! I had prayed that God would choose the day and the hour of your birth, and it was so exciting for me that, on Monday 20th September, I realised that I had to abandon my grocery shopping list and head for Pretoria East Hospital rather than for Pick ‘n Pay! Once it was confirmed that my contractions were the real thing, Dr Sher didn’t even want me to go home again, in case I went into strong labour, but I convinced him that I needed to fetch Cammy from school, pack the last of my things, etc.
When I got to Heavenly Babies I explained to Cam, ‘Your brother wants to come out of Mommy’s tummy today!’ To which he replied, ‘I’d like some red berry juice.’ Apparently your early arrival didn’t really faze him (he’d done the same thing, after all, also arriving at 38 weeks!). Dad moved all his patients and came straight home. We dropped Cam off at Granny, which was hard. Dad and I both cried a bit. It was the end of Cam being our ‘baby’.
Back at the hospital they monitored my contractions, which were getting stronger, and said I’d be going into theatre at 15h00. At just after 14h00, my waters broke. There was no denying that you definitely meant business! Your birth was pure bliss for me – no pain, no nausea, just Dad holding my hand (and taking some pretty gory pictures of your emergence...). How incredible to hear your first cry, when you were only half way out. You were born at 15h19. You weighed 3.3 kg and were 47 cm long.
It has been so awesome, these past six days, to get to know your ways. Suddenly, the mysterious little person who was kicking me inside these past many months – was you! Scott Gideon Reyburn. You are so beautiful; I can’t get enough of just staring at you, kissing you, smelling you, feeling your softness, listening to your soft squeaks. I could do this newborn baby thing over and over and over again... It’s just such a miracle! You are drinking, sleeping and making dirty nappies just as you should be; you’ve already settled into a three hourly routine and you’re even giving us a longish stretch of sleep at night. With Cam still waking up at least twice every night, I’m most grateful!
And then there’s your eyes. You are so alert. Dad says even in the delivery room you were already wide-eyed and looking around. Your eyes are huge, serious and intense – wizened eyes. And they are bright and beautiful. I don’t know how exactly, but I know that you will play a fundamental role in Cam’s life, in terms of his vision. I know God has you on different journeys, but my prayer is that, as brothers, your hearts and your destinies will be inextricably linked, and I thank God for the gift I know you will be to each other – the very best of friends, I hope!
I was so worried about how your brother would react to you coming into our family. He certainly hasn’t been quite himself this week, but none of his negative reactions have been directed at you. (He is simply missing my constant attention, but already we are finding a new rhythm and I remind myself that you have arrived to enrich Cam’s life and he will realise that soon enough!). He adores you. He told me he is glad that you’ve come out of my tummy now, and he wants to love and hug you continuously...! He keeps announcing cheerfully, ‘That’s my brother!’ and ‘He’s so tiny!’ He laughs hysterically when you make a ‘pardon me’ and climbs up onto our bed to just about crush you with affectionate, slobbery kisses while I’m feeding you.
Dad and I were chatting in bed last night, about this past week, and I asked him, ‘Where did you see God’s glory?’ He described a number of incidents and blessings: watching you being born and watching you sleeping in your little plastic hospital cot; all the phone calls, SMSs, emails and facebook messages we received; the way you do a little power punch when you sneeze and the way your face has already changed and filled out; the four of us being at home together as a family. He was also blessed by all the time he spent with Cam while you and I were still in hospital. On Wednesday the two of them had had an early supper at Granny and Grandpa’s and were driving to see us at the hospital to say goodnight. The sun was setting in deep orange splendour. Cam was quiet on the backseat and Dad asked him, ‘What are you thinking?’ Cam replied, ‘I thinking, there’s a sunset.’ God’s glory! :) Walking on the fields here at St Alban’s with Cam and Lola, Dad said he saw God’s glory again in the beauty of the campus, in the miracle of all the Cam has experienced and become in his little life, and in Lola’s unbelievable gentleness with Cam. Lola, by the way, wags her tail when you’re around and has licked you once or twice, but I think she realises you’re still too little to be fair game so she hasn’t persisted in getting much of a reaction out of you!
Other blessings this week:
Nanna was so disappointed that she wouldn’t be here for your scheduled birth on the 23rd, because she left on a school choir tour overseas on the 21st; but you arrived early and so she could meet you just in time after all, the day you were born!
I was blown away again by the compassion and gentleness of the doctors and nurses at Pretoria East. And by visiting hours! Friends and family oohing and aahing over you, and bringing flowers, cards, gifts... I was basking in your glory! :)
I have loved having Dad at home on leave this week! He is so amazing – he has run the household expertly, with me spending lots of time feeding and resting. He has vacuumed, and shopped, and washed dishes, and made me copious amounts of honey rooibos, and made me laugh.
Granny has been simply awesome, preparing Cam’s heart for your arrival and entertaining him with limitless enthusiasm. She even thought to bring supplies of cake and doughnuts for the steady stream of visitors that have been in and out of our house this week. Dad was blessed by time with Uncle Lachlan, who stayed over at our house the day you were born. And we are being blessed with meals every night, from family and friends. What a treat!
I’ve been blessed by the warm spring days and nights – the peace of chilling on the stoep, watching Cam playing in his sandpit and amusing himself endlessly with the hosepipe, drinking in the green tranquillity of the stinkwood. I love our midnight feeds with crickets chirping, and our early morning feeds with hadidas calling – because we live in Africa.
You are blessed, my Scotty, to be ‘Number 8’, as your cousin Meagie says, of Granny and Grandpa’s grandchildren. You have six adoring cousins and a brother, not to mention all your aunts and uncles, grandparents, great aunts and great uncles, etc. Your life has hardly begun and already you are cloaked in a rich heritage.
I suppose you want to know how we chose your name. Your Reyburn roots are in Scotland, and so, like Cameron, we wanted you to have a Scottish first name. Dad and I have both always loved the name Scott, and of course your uncle, Scott Ferreira, is someone we love, respect and admire very much. If you were to turn out just like him, that would be fine by us.
Again, like your brother Cameron Benjamin, we wanted you to have an Old Testament Hebrew second name. The name Gideon took on very special significance for us when we found out about Cam’s eyes nearly two and half years ago. The scripture Judges 6 was given to us as an encouragement at the time. The angel of the Lord appears to Gideon and says, ‘Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!’ Gideon says, ‘If the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us? And where are all the miracles our ancestors told us about?’ The Lord replies, ‘Go with the strength you have, and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I am sending you!’ God was promising to multiply Gideon’s strength if he just stepped forward in faith with whatever little bit of strength he did have. Gideon continues to doubt, saying that he is the youngest member of the weakest tribe, but the Lord says to him, ‘I will be with you. And you will destroy the Midianites as if you were fighting against one man.’ Later, Gideon is described by his enemies as one having the bearing of a prince. Countless times over the past couple of years I have gone back to that passage and drawn strength from it. You are Mommy’s tiny precious mighty hero. Go with the strength you have. God is with you, and His plans for you are bigger than anything you could ever possibly dream or imagine. I can’t wait to watch them unfold.
When I wondered how on earth I would be able to love another child with my whole heart, the way I love Cameron, Granny and Nanna both reassured me that ‘more love just comes.’ How right they were. I love you so very much that it hurts in the deepest places of my soul, and makes me deliriously happy, all at once. I remember clearly feeling the same thing when Cam was born – simply unable to contain or classify all the emotion...! You have made me want to live again like the ‘child of the pure unclouded brow, and dreaming eyes of wonder’ (Lewis Carroll).
All my love,
Mom
xxx
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